$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
