Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
