i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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