I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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