this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
That's when you crack a 10am beer
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
