My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
