hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize