I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
