like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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