i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize