its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
How's work?
Spinning.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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