His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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