marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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