id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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