I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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