what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
