This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
