i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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