Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize