She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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