for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize