if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
