Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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