Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
