i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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