I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
my poor anus
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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