is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
