I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
