He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
