yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
