so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
the raccoons are back...
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