You're a womanizer and a bitch.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize