We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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