At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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