If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
