:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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