what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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