i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
