Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
