I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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