Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
one might say we're banned from that church
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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