dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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