Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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