i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just want nice things and good sex
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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