Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
honey bunches of taint.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
