He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize