She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
