i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize