She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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