I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize