Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
