Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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