Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
