I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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