its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize