Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
