i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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