Please, let me fuck your mom
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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