I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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